Mi Vida Loca

Toning tables!

2007-06-08T11:49:00.000+01:00

For Christmas last year my mother-in-law bought me some toning table gift certificates. Since they were about to expire I decided I'd better and try and use them.

In today I went for my first session. Mind you this was with me not knowing what a toning table was. Well turns out they are exactly that...tables you lay on and they do stuff to tone you. Absolutely lovely and very relaxing. Well most of the time. Has anyone ever known me not to find something to give a hiccup.

I'm laying on this table my feet up in these stirrups thinking my god its a little like the stirrups at the gyno. It moves your legs about a bit to work the inner thighs. Half way through they come over the change the stirrup position to where your feet are pointing slightly inwards. This is the convo that followed....

'Ok, is that comfortable', she says.

I say 'yes'.

'Now you need to flop your knees out to the side as wide as you can', says she.

'Ok' I say and relax the knees out to the side with my feet in these stirrups still.

She looks a little shocked and says 'Oh my that's wide...usually you can't do that until the 03rd or 4th session'.

Lots of little twitters and giggles can be heard from all the rest of the older on the other tables. Which btw I swear there wasn't one under the age of 55 besides me. And the one man in the group sounded like he nearly choked trying to control the laughter.

And me I sort of stutter a response of 'Its the yoga' and lie like a dog! Well that and you damn sure know that I kinda giggled to myself and blushed a bright burgundy over the whole thing.

Dont do it, save yourselves! ;)

2007-04-18T21:16:00.000+01:00

Fair warning, do not give toddlers Tixie-lix (cough cold medicine in UK) in the middle of the day. Only give it to them before they go to bed. Find something else, anything else to give them, warm water with lemon, anything but Tixie-lix. I beg you do not go down that road!

My reasoning for this is something happens, your active but nice little child gets whisked away and in their place is left this pint size mean, hyperactive, eyes glowing red demon child. My god I didn't think I was going to make it through the rest of the afternoon/evening! The stuff has finally worn off and order has been restored and she is safely in her bed cuddling her toys.

Tomorrow morning she will need a full bath (didn't have any energy left tonight) for the dowsing in lotion she gave herself to the point that she looks like she hasn't had her hair washed for a year. The house looks like it has been hit by a full F5 tornado and the havoc of farm animals that were slaughtered today was amazing. Plus, I'm pretty sure beating the zoo animals into submission with a very large blue hippo flashlight will result in my receiving a letter from the local animal protection agency.

And how many times do I have to tell her father to make sure and hide his chocolate she will eat all of it and she has a knack for hiding it to where you can't see it even when she's in the same room. You find out after she walks up to you holds out her hands and says 'mimi, sticky need wipe please' you look up to find a chocolate covered face grinning at you! And where the hell did she get ahold of the pen from?

Anyway happy Wednesday and may your little demons sleep peacefully! ;)

Merry Fucking Christmas British Television!!

2006-12-24T22:59:00.000Z

Ok I have a new soapbox to get on. I have lived in England for nigh on 3 years..minus a few months. I've spent a total of 4 Christmas's here between visiting and living here. And the same thing happens every year. For some reason to show christmas cheer the bloody tv show writers here start killing people off!!!

I mean one every now and again but every damn year on nearly every channel! Starting a few weeks before and lasting at least till the New Year people start hitting the ground at a rate unlike any I have ever seen.

Take tonight for instance, came home from dinner with the inlaws in a festive mood. I start the brownies baking for a wicked trifle I'm doing for the dinner tomorrow. We put the kiddies presents under the tree and flip on the tv for a bit relaxation. IT WAS NOT RELAXING!!!!

On Eastenders they have a little baby in the hospital sick and near to dying and this was after her shit parents wanted to have her adopted out because she has DownSyndrome. Complete bastards they are. Tomorrow night I believe that they are supposed to kill off Pauline Fowler somehow.

I always watch Casualty..between last night and tonight they have tried to kill off one paramedic, killed off one nurse and nearly had one little girl die because her mother intentionally shot her full of insulin. Thank you for a Christmas eve spent in tears! Yes I know turn the damn thing off, but for some reason I was like a zombie needing candy and having to know if they died or not. Bless you for at least only killing off one I guess.

Lets see oh yes the list goes on, sometime soon Charlie will be killed off in Coronation Street and the wicked slut of the street Cilla (sp?) is lying about being terminal. Lied straight out to get vengenace. Her poor kids think there mother is dying...all I can say if you freaking bitch!

And Emmerdale wouldnt want to be left out now would they...will they or will they not be killing off Tom King??? After of course they took another jab at making poor Chas the unhappiest person in the village.

What happened to fun, cheer, goodwill and humour? Maybe a nice shag under the office christmas tree? A nice drunken row with no dead bodies? I for one will skip watching anything tomorrow except DR. WHO. Can't miss that now can I, though I'm sure someone will die in that one as well. Oh and maybe will pull out some Christmas Dvd's.

As for the writers I have a rather large artificial tree that I would just love to shove up your ass for your warped sense of Christmas Cheer. Right now I can truthfully say I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!

Now I'm off to give Santa a nice whiskey, some biscuits and the longest kiss ever recorded! I'll find my own cheer to put back into this night!

Merry Christmas to all and to all have a rather kinky night!

Out of the mouths of the child and her dad!

2006-11-30T18:42:00.000Z

The last few days have been incredibly intense with some quite funny moments playing out in our house. The following are fast becoming the source of many smiles.

The first happened when we had minx sitting on the toilet early one morning. The hubby (who wasn't wearing anything due to he grabbed the potty seat and I grabbed the kid) had leaned around the door to talk to me and hand me my robe.

Our sweet little 2 year old girl pointed at his bits and said "Daddy tail, daddy tail, daddy tail." I didn't get what she said to begin with until he told me what she was pointing at. Needless to say the hubby now says he wants to put some clothes on before he comes and helps with her. ;)

Another funny bit came last night after the hubby and I put the minx in bed. We were sitting on the couch talking about the said minx and how the potty training was going. The hubby all the sudden said "I'm a bit jealous, I wish I could pee in the living room when I wanted to."

Then today minx asked for some cheddars (little cheesy crackers) I said we didn't have any. She looked at me all put out and said "Oh for gods sake!" You'd think the world was endingd from not having any cheddars. ;)

Charity underhandedness!

2006-11-10T09:26:00.000Z

You know every year I get loads of charity mail through the door. I am very good about it I try and pick a few and buy something from them. Or I at least try and send some sort of donation or drop a coin into the donation bucket every few weeks.

What happened this morning would have the hair on my back standing on end if I had any hair on my back. I do feel slightly growly as well (though that could be partially lack of coffee;) ), think they might have set off the inner wildcat.

Nice fat little packet arrives in the mail from certain charity (I'll be nice and not name them since they do good work even if they have pissed me off!)

I open it up, there is a set of 8 Christmas cards and a holiday calender in the envelope. I thought to myself and told the husband that was a bit odd. Considering this charity specifically sales cards and the calender every year why would they be sending free ones. As it is, my mother-in-law buys cards from them every year so I do know more about them.

I fish around in the cards and up pops an order form, it says "To buy the cards enclosed please send £5.95 to such and such address." It also lists other things you can buy.

WTF?????????????????? You send me cards in the mail and want me to pay for them even though I never ordered them? Well that is way beyond underhanded in my book. Then I read that it says you are under no obligation to buy the cards or return the cards. Yeah fucking right no obligation!

Bloody Hell, if was one card, or a pen or even those address labels you sometimes get then I wouldn't feel the need to have to pay for them. Any sensitive person would probably feel like they were obligated to pay for them. (Yes I know I am a loud mouth, opinionated, brash and basically naughty person, but I still am very sensitive and caring.) Its not like there wasn't a great effort made to make the cards. The paintings on the cards are usually done by people with no arms. They paint with their feet.

The hubby has said no we are not paying for them. That it was an underhanded way to try and get people to support them. Like I said if it was one card you think cool, thats nifty, might order some of those. A full pack of 8 cards and you feel like the Wicked Witch of the East not buying them. Yet I really don't want to have to pay for postage to send the cards back, but feel guilty for the thought of keeping them for free and using them.

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, maybe I can package them up in a plastic card sleeve and take them to be sold at the charity shop. Or sale them at the mother-in-laws shop and put the money in a charity bucket.

I feel we are right though, it was the wrong way for them to go about this. Even though they will probably get plenty of orders for having done it that way. So I will suck in the guilt. I will not send the cards back or pay for them. I think I'll stick to the idea of taking them to the mother-in-laws shop and having the money go on to charity.

To jump fully into the british way of saying things, bastards complete bastards for making me start my morning off like this.

I'm locked in!

2006-11-07T13:54:00.000Z

Anyone who knows the joys of keeping children out of the places they should not be will know at times its a test of wills.

The other night our little girl got through a gate we thought was closed and fell down the stairs. Needless to say it scared a good ten years off our lives in that one moment. Thankfully children roll and bounce really well. She came away with a couple of bruises and a few days of "less activity." Mind you that has been another contest of wills.

So today when I needed to get dressed I took her up, made sure all the gates were closed, and flipped the lock on the outside of her dad's office door. Now he was inside and I did tell him I was doing it. We do that sometimes to keep her from having a rumage while hes working. Normally he does it from the inside.

Today he was bit sick and I thought I'd save him for a few minutes, lock the door...get dressed...unlock door and go back downstairs.

Did it happen that way? No it did not. I got busy playing with the said munchkin, loaded her up and took off down the stairs laughing and playing.

We had been off playing for a awhile when I walked through the dinning room and happened to notice parts of some red letters on my computer in a small window. I thought to myself "what in the world is that."

Walking over I see this in a talker window:

. _ _ _ _ _
+> [] . (_| )_ __ ___ | | ___ ___| | _____ __| |
+> [] . | |/| '_ ` _ \ | |/ _ \ / __| |/ / _ \/ _` |
+> [] . | | | | | | | | | | (_) | (__| < __/ (_| |
+> [] . |_| |_| |_| |_| |_|\___/ \___|_|\_\___|\__,_|
+> [] .
+> [] . _
+> [] . (_)_ __
+> [] . | | '_ +> [] . | | | | |
+> [] . |_|_| |_|

I also see my IM window flashing and it has a very polite "lemme out please =)."

What do I do, I nearly collapse in the floor laughing. I laugh all the way upstairs. And yes I even thought of making him sweat it out a few more minutes in pure evilness, but I did manange to control that part of my nature and decided to let him out. ;)

I unlock the door and hes standing there looking all stern and I nearly fell on the floor laughing again. I did manage to get I'm so sorry out between the laughing bursts and even gave him a kiss.

I'm just glad I had decided on not going for the walk that I had planned this morning. I can just imagine how upset he would have been locked in his office till lunch. ;)

My great evil sense of humour does want to test it one more time, but I think one accidental lock in might be let go, a second might be construed as an act of war.;)

My boxing bag.

2006-08-23T11:49:00.000+01:00

This is one of my new hobbies. The hubby got me a freestanding boxing tube for my birthday in June. It's now seen quite a lot of use. I do boxing and kickboxing with it.

Everyone keeps asking me what it is. So here ya go here is me with my new toy.

Another few months and I wouldn't suggest making me to angry;)

Customer satisfaction not required!

2006-08-23T11:19:00.000+01:00

I recently sent an email to a company asking them why my last two payments were not showing on my account.

This is the responce I got back:

"Dear Mrs ,

Thank you for your e-mail.

Unfortunately we can only accept MasterCards, Visa cards, Maestro cards, Cheques and Postal Orders as methods of payment to your account.

We apologise for any inconvenience this causes.

Regards,
Customer Services"

Ok well I can accept that, only for peats sake the payments were made on a Visa card.

So I replied with this:

"So how does this affect me since my payment was made with a visa card?"

Talk about someone trying to fob off their work and hope you just dont reply back to them and they won't actually have to look at your account and figure out the real problem.

They are damn lucky they didn't say that to someone in a really bad mood. It could result in them being dangled over the side of a bridge at the very least.

I am still awaiting their responce, if its a blow off I'm going to send them a review of their work. Being pre-inclined to think they suck I bet its not going to be a good review.

Spider Dance;)

2006-08-10T16:27:00.000+01:00

I have at last invented a new strip dance. The spider dance. One that will freak even the calmest of neighbors!

I was in the kitchen this morning, getting the minx her breakfast, when I felt something move on my breast. Opening my robe just a bit I see a rather large spider (size of a 50p coin, and yes I know some don't consider that large) sitting on the side of my left breast.

What happened next was born of pure panic. I am well known for my intolerance to creepy crawly creatures on me.

First I let out a bit of a muffled screech. I then started yanking the robe off while dancing all over the kitchen. I was waving my arms around frantically trying to get the damn thing off me. It made it to my hair. I then nearly had a heart attack. I increased my efforts to swat it out of my hair while still hopping like mad around the kitchen.

When I was totally convinced it was gone I then turned to find my robe only to realize that the blinds on the kitchen windows were up.

Standing naked in the kitchen still trying to catch my breath I had to giggle. Just imagine if you were the neighbor out taking your bin in when you get an eyeful of some naked crazed woman hopping all over her kitchen waving her arms about!

Maybe I can just swear I was listening to Footloose and got carried away. Good Morning to you as well. ;)

Treadmills!

2006-08-06T17:57:00.000+01:00

Now if only we could do what they are doing on a treadmill to lose weight. It damn sure wouldn't be as boring;) Only problem is we found we couldn't listen to the song without going back to watch them on the treadmills!

The band is OK GO from Chicago.

Cat Burgled!

2006-07-26T09:08:00.000+01:00

Wow, I hadn't expected a last gift for Rogers' 30th birthday. Neither did he, but he got a very unexpected surprise.

Yesterday I made him a orange chocolate chip cake with chocolate glaze on top (my attempt at making a version of a large jaffa cake). We left it on the table, under a net dome cover, when we went to bed last night. Mind you looking back I should have put it in a cake box, but that didn't happen.

When I came downstairs this morning (I had a sleep in) I was confronted with Roger standing at the cake. He pointed to it and asked me "Did you do this to the cake?"

Looking down at the cake and seeing the big rather scooped out section, briefly in my no coffee still sleepy stage, felt a bit put out. I don't think I'm the sorta person that ascends on the cake in the middle of the night and just scoops out part of the top of the cake. Nor when he said, "Well I wondered if you just wanted some of the chocolate off the top of the cake. I really didn't think it was you, but wanted to make sure."

First thing I asked after denying all said charges was "Did Mia get into the cake?" Yes, the first thought that crosses my mind is our darling little mountain goat has gotten past Daddy, climbed up on the table, and helped herself to some cake. Knowing how much she liked said cake yesterday it seemed reasonable. Alas, it was not to be, said mountain goat hadn't done the deed.

So who did? They had moved the net covering to get to the cake so they had to be at least a little bigger than a bunch of hungry bugs coming through the window.

We moved on to thinking about the dinning room window being open to get air in last night. Had we been burgled? The computer was still in dinning room, a wallet still on table and the digital camera still sitting there. Nothing missing? So not a person coming in to take things and having a little cake on the way out.

Then on closer inspection of the scooped out bit it looks like has little teeth marks on the chocolate. Do we have a mouse in the house? Nope, no traces of a mouse anywhere.

After a bit, I get a sudden image of these cats all over the neighborhood. In particular sprang to mind the two cats who come sit on the porch in front of the dinning room window.

On inspection of the said window we do find fur attached to it. It is official, we have been cat burgled. And they wanted nothing but a little birthday cake! That would explain the teeth marks and how some of the frosting looked melted. Most likely it was from said offender having a small taste of frosting before eating a nice bit of cake.

I know they say I cook really well but this is ridiculous to have midnight visitors stealing the cake as well. For heavens sake, come to the door and have a little meow and we will see what we can do! ;);)

Wow, can I make an Impression!

2006-07-19T09:16:00.000+01:00

Sunday the Fish Dinner went well for the most part, the day was going really well.

Minx (my daughter) showed her glowing vibrant self and had most of the 200 people in love with her before the dinner was over. My husband had loads of his family there. Some got drunk came to find me poured their hearts out and cried to me. Which even that I handled, even managed to handle the hubby's 80 year old Nan breaking down and crying to me. (Not sure but I might have been seen as fix it woman of the bunch that day.) Most all us women in the family tried to avoid the drunk uncle who tried to grope all of us.

Then at the end all of the lodge people had mostly left and went on their way home. Leaving only the 25-30 (I lost count of some of them) family members that came to the dinner.

One had a dog who was tied to one of the tents. Minx was playing with the dog(which is how this started she thought the dog was hysterical barking and wanted to play with it). Dog was looking at the mother-in-laws cat who was (and i tell ya that cat was doing this intentionally, not a hair was raised on her little black body) sitting in front of dog playing lady of the manor and I'm not scared of you to the dog.

Said dog went after cat, cat took off, Minx went after fun dog, I went after Minx trying to make sure that the dog getting upset at the cat didnt turn on the baby.

I'm almost back against a row of shrubs and brambles trying to get ahold of Minx when the dog runs in between us. He was on one of those leads that lets out on a long cable. The cat ran down some steps, dog went after it, the cable started running across the front of my legs, my legs started burning and I tried to get cable off my legs. The dog lunged after cat, toppled me over backwards into shrubs and brambles (for those who don't know what brambles are...BIG AS WEEDS WITH THORNS). My husband was trying to get Minx who still wanted the fun dog, I'm in my nice summer skirt if the shrubs. Family is running from everywhere to try and get me out and make sure I'm not broke.

To start with I just thought had little rope burn on my legs, so when asked if I was ok I said "No, I have a thorn in my ass." Didn't quite know I had thorns in my hands and arm and of course the offensive thorn stuck in the bum. Then we all had a look and saw that the dog's cable didn't just burn on the legs a bit, it did rope burn then slightly sliced front of my legs.

Now funny thing is I had a doctors appointment Monday and I had a medical for a insurance company yesterday with my doctor. My doctor who took a close look at the wounds to make sure they were ok just grinned gave a little laugh and said, "Polly you don't do things by halves do you!"

If you see the attached pictures, well to say the least it looks like I was tied up for a bit to long. ;) Least thats what the husbands brother says I should tell everyone, that the husband battered me and tied me up. ;)

The even funnier thing was there was a at least 8 or so of the family that I was just meeting for the first time.

Sunday night bruised, battered, swelling and bandages finally done my husband and I started laughing. What a hell of a way to make an impression on new family you haven't met. I'm sure they won't forget my name or me falling into the brambles.

I shall be remembered, if not for the graceful way I behaved my self during the whole party or for the darling cute daughter, for the way I can get a thorn stuck in my ass. ! ;)

Welcome to my crazy life, I think I might just go ahead and have that tattooed on me bum right above where we got the thorn out. Pain in the ass that I am that could be appropriate. ;)

The pen incident.

2006-07-05T14:45:00.000+01:00

Now as many of you know (and the ones who don't will learn quick), I have the ability to do things that might have the potential to cause embarrassment. Mind you, I tend to get over the blushing right quick and start laughing much sooner than I used to. Hell, after ahwile you do enough stuff and your either going to laugh it off or hide and I'm not the hiding sort.

Today's incident went along these lines.

Our insurance/mortgage guy came over for a visit. To say the least he's a bit long winded. he's going on about this and that and we are all done with the insurance stuff after maybe 30 minutes? Yeah, about 30 minutes. Does he leave. NO!

He sits there in the chair yammering on about this and that and asking how we all are. Which normally I don't mind but all I really wanted him to do was leave. After 20 minutes of chit chat I tend to get a bit antsy.

What do I do? I start fiddling with the pen I had been writing with. And since I talk with my hands the pen is flitting here and there and I'm twirling it around. Not paying any actual attention to the pen.

The guy finally shuts up and leaves the house.

Hubby turns to me and says "Did you notice what was on the pen you were playing with?" He grinned and giggled.

I said, "No, why?"

He said, "It says Sextoys.co.uk on it ;)"

Course I didn't know, but how hysterical is that. If the guy did see what it said ah well. Free advertisement for the company and on my part something to make me and the hubby laugh the rest of the day.

I need A/C and visitors to call before they show!

2006-07-03T11:15:00.000+01:00

Yeah I know, to bitches in one. In my defense, they are slightly tied together in a round about sorta fashion.

We'll start with A/C. Do I miss it? Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I miss it! Now for all y'all out there saying "You live in England it's not that hot", BITE ME!

I'm boiling, near the coast, house gets hot you can't get it cooled down till late at night. Bloody owners before us put concrete and stones everywhere to soak up the heat. We have a conservatory and a utility room that turns into a sauna for most of the day even with the doors and windows open. So you go out there at certain times in the summer at your own risk.

So what do I do, well most everyone in the house does, strip down to next to nothing. Mia runs about in diaper, roger in shorts and me in bikini top and shorts or sarong.

So what do you think happens, people decide to visit. Now normally I wouldn't care that much but I'd at least like to have shirt on when family comes over. Strangers couldn't care a whit what they see, but family would at least like to get a shirt on real quick.

Could I get to my shirt? No, my darling daughter had hid it again. So it was mad dash around the living room trying to see where she stuffed it and checking the window to check how far they had got towards the door. Rip the shirt out from behind a cushion, throw it on as they come through the door and probably looked like I had just got done shagging the hubby in the kitchen.

Hence, visitors should always call before they come over, or take your chances at to what you find! ;)

Anymore though and I'm not going to care. It's to hot to worry what anyone else thinks.

Peanut Warning!

2006-07-03T10:59:00.000+01:00

Of all things, hubby buys bag of peanuts, on back is an allergy warning. Now normally they warn of bag may contain nuts, all the sorta random shit that should be rather evident from the name on the front. PEANUTS!

But this one, this one takes the cake. It says:

Allergy advice:
May contain traces of milk and celery.

Celery and Milk? WTF! Now I've heard some strange things, but that one was pushing the bag a bit. I'm trying to think what kind of peanut processing plant might have something going on with celery and milk. Then I think well maybe just maybe it had to do with the farm they were grown on. Just imagine, they had celery growing in field nearby and some milk cows that wandered around lactating on the plants? Nah, thats about a far reach as you can get. Has to be back to the processing plant.

I really want to call them and ask just why there might be celery and milk mixing with the peanuts? Afternoon snack for the workers? Making some strange stuffing mix? New protein drink? (That thought might actually make you gag!)

And then I think, I'm obssessed with why there is celery, milk and peanuts together, time for a new bitch topic me thinks. ;)

When did we all get old;)

2006-06-24T09:11:00.000+01:00

Well now, the last few days leading up to my birthday, I have had a lot of people saying they never realized how old I was. I must say at 35 I'm taking that as a big compliment. I'm also taking the many comments of "You don't look 35" as meaning I look younger;)

Though all might seem different today after staying up half the night with the hubby bringing in the birthday in style. Both of us are more knackered now than when we were younger, but I damn sure know we have more fun now. ;) The hubby will be blushing reading this (when he gets up from his nap and he's 5 years younger than me! Just teasing baby.) As it's my birthday I'm writing whatever I think today. And last night is still on the mind quite a bit, all I can say is thanks baby for a most enjoyable beginning to my birthday. ! ;)

But wow, where did the time go? I look back at my little mental list at where I wanted to be in life and all I can say to everyone is, Throw the damn list out the window! Those lists we all seem to have to make when we are younger are a bit warped to say the least and at best you might get half or maybe more done. If your setting there telling yourself oh I've done most everything on my list... well I have one thing to say to that. How fucking short was your list???!!

My list for forty has been culled down. I think these are the important things to go on it. Eventually find my brain (it left along about the time it took 31 hours to have the minx), umm...job, yeah a job would be nice. Finish school again, I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. ;) Did I mention job? Maybe do some traveling to Italy or Hawaii. Make out with hubby every possible moment, yeah thats a good one. Past that the list isn't half finished, other than there is the normal mom stuff, help the minx grow up happy healthy and ready to kick ass in the world when we let her loose. Yeah there we go I'll add to the long term list, have minx take over the world;)

Hey I don't see it as such a far out thing to have happen. In 21 months she's managed to take over nearly all the space in our house, if she keeps branching out like that till shes 21 years old, well the results could be quite close to taking over the world! ;)

I have come to the conclusion though, I am the older lady next door that we all used to bitch about in University. The one who would come over when we cranked the music up and tell us to keep it down. Now when the neighbor attached to us makes loud noise and yells and screams and cusses at her children...well nicest thing I can say is I would love to throttle her! The fact she wakes my baby up is enough to piss me off and have me want to rip her head off.

Yes, I still have a boiling temper, thing is I now control it and keep it from being shown around minx. Normally I would storm next door and rip her head off, now I send Roger over to tell her off for me. And I got smart this year and asked for a freestanding boxing tube. Great exercise and great rage outlet. I get pissed off now and I go and beat the hell out of the bag in a nice kickboxing session. Hey it works. :)

Maybe I will like 35 after all, I mean I've grown a lot in the last 15 years. Heaven help me I don't want to be 20 again, did that...survived and now I think I'll keep it as an amusing memory to get me through my rocking chair years. ;)

I have tips to help all though: Don't listen to other old people, you'll just get depressed. Don't act your age if you don't want to, screw em wear your mini skirt if it makes you feel better, die your hair green and run around and say wicked. Flash your gf/bf/hubby whenever you can, they'll love it and as long as you don't get arrested there won't be a record of it. Don't pay any attention to the younger crowd and their ability to tell us we are ancient and live in the dark ages; they'll be here soon enough and we'll be laughing our asses off at them. ;)

I have no intention of growing old gracefully, because I don't have any intention of growing old;) I'm going to be my same outrageous, ballsy, mouthy, flirty and yes even shy and coy person until I drop at a hundred or so. I figure that would be just about long enough to drive everyone else mad. ;)

So the question is, when did we all get old? NEVER! We're just slightly more mature versions of the neurotic people that we were! ;)

Piggin Obsessed!

2006-06-14T12:10:00.000+01:00

Ok I might have a slight addiction. I like Piggins, ok I really really like Piggins. Roger gave me my first one a long time ago while we were dating. And I was hooked. (Piggins are carved pigs by David Corbridge.) If you want to check out some look on ebay.co.uk for Piggins.

So low in behold whats the 2nd thing I bid on at Ebay (after a pair of Black wellies with polkadots all over them) you got it...Piggins.

Did I go over board...ummmm...well yeah I did. Boy did I go over board.

First I bought 9, then what did I do stop, no I had to bid on a set of 30. And yes, I did say 30, some I want some I don't so I'll figure out what to do with the rest.

Now thats not the worst part, worst part is when 39 piggins start arriving in the mail. I bet are postman is pissed with us with the amount of things we order online. Maybe thats why he lied and gave us that note saying we weren't home to get our package;)

Ok roger has just reminded me I have my numbers wrong, it was 41 not 39. I forgot about the set of two that I bought. ;)

All right, need to set up sellers account in ebay and get ahold of my addiction. Who knows what else might show up from Ebay, I was having a good look at boots in my size. Roger cringed when he saw me looking at shoes on there. I think I might have worried him a bit! Mind you his reaction wasnt the best when he found out I bought the wellies as my first item;)

Bloody Postman

2006-06-14T08:42:00.000+01:00

Every now and again we seem to get this postman from hell. Early in the morning (mind you when we are up and here) he pops a slip through our door. The slip says we aren't in and to come get our package from the post office.

Bloody hell, what does he mean we weren't in, before 8am with a toddler, yeah right we weren't in. I know Roger (bless him) was up at 545am with minx. And I know that I was downstairs by 745am and that the normal post was already in. Then this came through the door. Asshole is all I can put here right now...trying not to even think the other things that popped in my head about him.

And no, it's not the 1st time he has done this. We have worked it out that he does it so maybe, maybe, we might just go to the postoffice and pick it up before he has to deliver it. Lazy sod. Last time he delivered it in his car. Which means he ended up having to or get in trouble with his work. His way of trying to go home early?

Rog has decided that he'll give him till 11:30 am this time to bring the package and then he'll go down to the post office and give them an earful when he picks it up.

I know what the two packages should be so I know they aren't exactly small but I am still inclined to think the moron should deliver it himself like I paid the postage to have him do. It's what I would be expected to do and its what I want to happen.

Then again sometimes, what you want itsn't what you get so maybe we'll just have to settle for bitching about him.

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it." -Jane Wagner

Photos of Mia.

2006-06-12T15:25:00.000+01:00

Isnt she gorgeous! This is Mia our little minx. She was named Mia for simple reason its the name Roger and I could both agree on. Its meanings are: Hebrew- wished for, Italian- Mine. She was born year of the Monkey with a description of cheeky. What else can you say.

Who said Americans can't drive in England?

2006-06-12T14:20:00.000+01:00

Yay, I have passed the first part of my driving test, just working on the driving part now.

Mind you I did manage to drive on the right hand side of the road the other day even though I've lived in england for little over 2 years now and know better. The instructor just calmly said "You're driving American again" and laughed a bit. Thankfully it was a residential area so no one got scared. ;)

He doesnt think I will need to many lessons, just need some to learn to handle roundabouts better and to get out of some very bad drivings habits. Its very common for me to be muttering to myself as I turn a corner "feed the wheel, feed the wheel, dont go hand over hand, feed the wheel." Yes I just might be clinically insane by the time I get done with the lessons. Oh yeah wait, I might be there already;)

Ah well maybe I'll just post a big sign on my car instead of the learner sticker:

Follow at your own risk, tendency to drive like a foreigner! ;);)

Sides we bought these magnetic L plates. Thought it would be easier than taping some inside of the windows. Yep worked great right up till the time I hit 30 and the damn things blew off the car on the way to the store. Rog had to go back and pick them up while Mia and I went around the store shopping. ;)

Ah but the fun part comes up soon to, in all the years I have been driving I have not had to parallel park very often and now I need to do it for the test. That should be fun, I tend to be the one who pulls in with the front of the car, not pull up to car in front and then back into the spot. I'm chicken and really most spots where I lived in the states I never needed to. We just pulled in and backed out at the stores. So there ya go something new (or really something old) for me to learn and get correct.

Did I give birth to a mountain goat?

2006-06-12T13:53:00.000+01:00

I swear I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, so exactly when did she turn into a mountain goat?

The amount of times today already that I have retrieved her from behind the tv and from on top of the cedar chest is no longer worth counting.

On the cheeky side and rather funny even if i couldnt show her. Roger left the camera in the living room. Minx climbed on the couch and found it on the table. She was holding it in front of her yelling cheese over and over again. For some reason I think someone really likes to have her photo taken. ;) And that is why I ended up doing a photo session of her to get her to stop following me yelling cheese. She is my little cheeky monkey. Quite appropriate that the year she was born was the year of the monkey and under the description next to the year it just said cheeky. ;)

She has a new trick that goes back to the mountain goat part. Shes found she can pull herself up on my desk chair and try to get to the keyboard from there.

And on that note she has learned at least two more words recently (well shes learned a lot but these are the ones i'll post for now) type and write. She starts to yell type as she is sometimes running off with my wireless keyboard or mouse. She has been able to say mouse for a long time.
A new spod has been born.

She has now cut one of the last two teeth and is working on the last one atm. Hence we have been getting up at 5am again the last few mornings. Who said teething doesnt hurt the parents. Plus the fact that it has now gotten quite hot and shes stripped off today and yells bloody murder if i try and put any clothes on her. So its her in her diaper streaking through the house.

Ah, and again must get her off the cedar chest.

14-04-2006

2006-04-14T14:31:00.000+01:00

Well due to popular demand here is my first blog post. Though not alot going on lately, least thats the story i'm sticking to. ;)

Lets see Mia is wild as she can be today. Kissing and hugging the TV, using it as a mirror when its off. She likes to poke her belly and say bootiful.

Roger had to make and early trip to the store cos she won't get off her apple kick. And just how did we run out of apples when Roger's dad runs apple orchard? Cos like any good parent we kept forgetting;)

Still waiting for the back two teeth to come in and then we are done with teeth until she starts loosing them. Not looking forward to that. Thats if she doesnt loose them first by climbing on something and falling off.

Anyways nothing else going on today sides watching rest of Bullet Proof Monk, hot bubble bath and snuggle time. What more could a girl ask for.